I’ve NEVER liked the Energy behind the phrase: “I don’t look like what I’ve been thru”. 

It’s never sat well with me, no matter how many times it was spoken during Sunday morning church services.

I’m a pastor’s kid (PK) ⛪ so I aint a stranger to being allllll up in a Penta-Baptist Southern Black church from sun up to sun down with 50-11 services back-to-back, repeatedly hearing and reciting such phrases…

“I don’t look like what I’ve been thru”

The rally cry, the mantra, the north star that has carried me thru some of my darkest moments in childhood and adulthood, is utterly incomplete 💔

Now, when I hear “I don’t look like what I’ve been thru” IMMEDIATELY my stomach turns in disgust 🤮

– It’s giving false advertising to this marketing + designer baddie who subscribes to full transparency in building her relationships.

– It’s giving “you a whole damn lie” to this neurospicy baddie with ADHD and a teaspoon of the tism (Autism) who cherishes THE TRUTH, not what makes you comfortable truth.

– It’s giving shame and guilt to this dark empath baddie who believes we must fully express the emotions given to us to match the energies that surround us.

I realized why that phrase turns sour in my guts:

“I don’t look like what I’ve been thru” is just the AFTER.

There’s always a BEFORE that proceeds an AFTER

GIVE 👏🏾 ME 👏🏾 THE 👏🏾 BEFORE 👏🏾 !

Show the BEFORE steps along the way that got you to the AFTER.

I’m fcking tired of the made up uber super duper polished flaunted sht seen on Instagram.

So “pristine” that I doubt you ever had a painful moment that made you grow.
So “perfect” that I doubt you’re even real human being.
So “fantastical” that I doubt you’re even telling that truth because that “power” and “authority” displayed reeeeeeeeks of desperation.


Show the BEFORE so the AFTER can truly be appreciated.


I wanna see a big bubble snotty nose, sensitive underdog artist who wets her pillows with her salty tears every single night, cry her way thru her acceptance speech when she’s recognized for her divine creative gifts that impacts multi-generations.

I wanna see a rough as fck, don’t know “how to talk to people”, who you label aggressive when she actually just assertive, hood rat speak on stages so eloquently your ears tingle in shock, delight, awe and crave to hear every single syllable uttered from her lips.

I wanna see a former devout, passive church girlie who was traumatized in her church, deconstruct her faith to fully embrace her ancestral power to bring the liberating healing the church THOUGHT the church was providing to the community.

Give me the BEFORE and give me the AFTER.

I don’t know about y’all but I’m retiring this phrase “I don’t look like what I’ve been thru”.

I’m replacing it with this…

“I embody the power within me & look like what I’ve been thru”

That’s exactly why I wanna look like what I’ve been thru.

I wanna show lil jasmine is okay to be seen on her journey. It’s safe to show your BEFORE to know exactly whose worthy to celebrate in the AFTER.

I wanna reflect to lil jasmine what I’ve lived thru: Good, Bad or Indifferent with No shame. No guilt. Be the embodied proof that you can fcking do it.

I wanna reflect to lil jasmine the same power that flows thru her veins is the exact magic that flows thru her ancestors.

“I embody the power within me & look like what I’ve been thru”

Will you be brave enough today to look like what you been thru without shame?