I’m an eldest daughter who grew up around narcissist people.
People pleasing was a key part of myself, my identity.
People pleasing allowed me to survive within those spaces where egos are big as the Fisher building and hostility behind closed doors of cursing, belittlement, and 4 hour long lectures of whatever “a**” i was that day (fast a**, trifling a** etc) when said narcissists were not pleased.
That’s why people pleasing comes way too easy, feels way too familiar.
I was always putting everybody needs before mine.
Im was always making sure my peoples is good while im flirting daily with a pending mental breakdown & deprëssïon.
I was always over extending myself physically to prove I was worthy of love while managing my chronic illness, Crohn’s.
At 8 years old, I fiercely believed I had to people please in order to be successful & gain what I want. Decades of pöisoning myself because I adopted people pleasing as a core part of my identity.
I nearly unalived myself a couple different times because I was bending over backwards for motherfckers who loved the illusion to care and their reputation than actually caring and reciprocating the effort to me in my lowest moments.
What I deserve in this in life is FAR GREATER than the fcking scraps given to me.
What I deserve in this life REQUIRES a different version of myself to receive & sustain the blessings owe to me.
What I deserve in this life DEMANDS I destroy my people pleasing behaviours in order to live the life lil Jasmine dreamed in her journals
Now in my 30s, there’s were gifts I had to give to myself before I could destroy my people pleasing behaviours to become the Bratty Baddie I am today ***in no particular order***
🎁 Give myself grace.
Grace for myself that I made the best decision in the moment.
Grace for myself, forgiving myself for consistently betraying my needs for the sake of others
Grace for myself that my grand delulu visions cannot live in the same space with people pleasing and that’s okay
🎁 Give myself permission to be selfish
As silly as this is, I had to practice saying No in the mirror 😂.
I had to practice being present in my body when I say “No” because I will disassociate in a hot second.
I had to practice choosing me first and not choosing me last because I’m no longer in spaces where I’m punished for prioritizing me
🎁 Give myself community
Because I didnt know life without people pleasing, I needed community that embodied the life I desired.
Going to therapy, reading books, actually applying the tools and exercises, building relationships with people that vibrate on that high frequency.
These are non-negotiables for life that pleases lil Jasmine
Imma keep it real with you.
This process to destroy people pleasing doesnt happen overnight.
It does happen with consistent effort.
I sometimes relapse into old people pleasing behaviours and it’s okay.
I sometimes bust in tears after holding my boundaries with a firm “No” and it’s okay.
I had to destroy people pleasing to become a certified Bratty Baddie.